


Translation

by Fullmetalruby



Series: Transformation [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: In Which the Uchiha Clan Lives In Suna, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Itachi, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, pregnant nonbinary character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-12 12:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9072586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fullmetalruby/pseuds/Fullmetalruby
Summary: Translation: a function that moves an object a certain distance. The object is not altered in any other way. It is not rotated, reflected or re-sized.Or, in which the Uchiha clan lives in Suna and this Affects Many Things.Sasuke Uchiha has never really left Suna, but his jounin sensei has decided that Sasuke and his team will be participating in the Chuunin Exams. In Konoha. Far away from the safety of his clan's glazier workshops, away from the sand and the heat and the warm winds.But in Konoha, trouble awaits.





	1. In Suna

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ VERY IMPORTANT  
> THIS STORY CONTAINS A NEUTRAL-PRONOUN-USING AFAB NONBINARY CHARACTER (Tatsuya).  
> THIS STORY CONTAINS A MALE-PRONOUN USING AFAB NONBINARY CHARACTER (Itachi).  
> THIS STORY CONTAINS A PREGNANT NONBINARY CHARACTER (Itachi)  
> IF ANY OF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, TURN BACK NOW

**Translation: a function that moves an object a certain distance. The object is not altered in any other way. It is not rotated, reflected or re-sized.**

* * *

 Sasuke hoped he wasn’t disturbing anyone when he ran across their roofs. It wasn’t like the people under the sandstone slabs weren’t used to it- living in a village full of shinobi and shinobi-in-training meant that you had to make a few sacrifices, and ownership of roofs was one of those sacrifices- and Suzuya-sensei taught him better than to make enough noise to bother people when he moves.

Sasuke jumped down from the building and landed almost silently on the cobbled street below. There was a puff of sand upon impact, and the stall owner he landed in front of frowned and probably thought something along the lines of “stupid genin, dropping out of the sky and disrupting business”. But Sasuke only had time for a brief apology as he ran down the street.

He nearly tripped over a rock when he sped onto the training grounds, which Tatsuya didn’t need to see but did anyway.

“You’re late, Sassy-poo.” Tatsuya smirked and crossed their arms over their chest.

Atsushi grunted. “Even Suzuya-sensei was on time, and you know how easily she gets distracted by guys.”

Their teacher hit them both upside the head, Atsushi a bit harder than usual. “Whether he was late or not doesn’t matter. We have training to do if you want to do well in Konoha next month. Atsushi, Tatsuya, get going.”

Tatsuya Jun smiled. “Fifteen paralysis-inducing senbon. I want to work on how fast the toxin can spread based on where it’s introduced to the body.”

Tatsuya had always been a nightmare. Even before Sasuke and Tatsuya had been assigned to the same genin team, Tatsuya had done nothing but tease Sasuke. No matter how good-natured it was, these things can get annoying when exposed to them every day for a majority of your life.

Tatsuya was a genin with a stronger attraction to poisons than Suzuya-sensei had to hot men. They were lethal with the right senbon, and mixed every toxin themselves, not even taking into account their pinpoint accuracy. On a good day, Tatsuya could cut the band right out of Sasuke’s hair with a sewing needle from 100 meters. Their short black hair and sandstorm-brown eyes were normal enough on the surface, but those eyes were sharp and their words could cut just as easily as the finest-honed kunai.

“Fifteen sheets. I want to try a new shape. I found a way to fold a shuriken one-handed, so I can do two at once.” Atsushi opened up his bag to show Suzuya-sensei.

Atsushi Nogami was inventive, if nothing else. Instead of walking around with “clunky and heavy weapons” (his words), he had paper-thin sheets of steel with which he folds origami kunai, senbon, and shuriken. The special alloy of steel he used was strong, stronger than Sasuke could bend with both hands, and Atsushi could fold it easily with two fingers. He was the strongest genin- possibly the strongest person overall- in the village in terms of brute strength, though whether by nature or through some jutsu or training, Sasuke didn’t know.

Atsushi had the longest hair in the entire team, curly and russet red that fell to the middle of his back when wet (which was still the funniest thing Sasuke had ever seen, but it was a story he was never allowed to tell). Drooping purple eyes like amethysts shone from his face, but they were often half-lidded and rimmed with red because Atsushi never slept enough.

Suzuya-sensei nodded. The team knew that this was the signal to begin their sparring session.

Sasuke and his teacher watched Atsushi expertly fold two sheets of steel into shuriken and launch them at Tatsuya, who dodged them easily while simultaneously throwing two poisoned senbon right back. Atsushi avoided Tatsuya’s projectiles just as easily as they had done to his. The longer the match dragged on, the more obvious it was that neither Atsushi nor Tatsuya would be able to gain the upper hand over the other. The only way this match was going to end was when one of them ran out of weapons.

Suzuya-sensei nodded in approval of how evenly matched they were, her navy hair bobbing about her shoulders. The delicacy of her features, her big, doll-like green eyes, did nothing but fool her enemies. Suzuya Rie was easily the most accomplished poison specialist in Suna, and in her twenty-eight years of life had only taken on one apprentice- Tatsuya. Everything Tatsuya knew, Suzuya-sensei had been the one to teach it to her. Every last drop of poison she used was mixed by hand, toxins painstakingly extracted from Suzuya’s personal greenhouse.

While yes, it was Atsushi who ran out of metal first, he was still the winner of the match in the end. While Tatsuya was busy prematurely celebrating their victory, Atsushi made two great strides with his unfairly long legs and trapped Tatsuya between his chest and arms. No matter how hard Tatsuya (half-heartedly) squirmed in Atsushi’s grasp, they couldn’t break free from Atsushi’s iron grip.

Suzuya-sensei clapped twice, and Atsushi set Tatsuya back on the ground. “Tatsuya, Sasuke.”

“Fifteen kunai. I want to work on dodging.” Sasuke said, already counting out the appropriate number.

Tatsuya thought for a moment, then replied. “Five senbon, ten shuriken. I want to test my aim some more.”

Their teacher nodded, and Atsushi backed away from the pair.

Sasuke and Tatsuya each easily fell into a natural stance- feet shoulder width apart, shoulders back, Sasuke, and hold the kunai just like that. Good job!- and held it. For almost a full minute, neither moved a muscle as they waited for the other to strike first.

Like an arrow, Tatsuya’s arm whipped out and a poisoned senbon went flying right at Sasuke’s forehead.

In a single fluid motion, Sasuke leaned to the side and sent a kunai right back in his opponent’s direction and had two more hanging from his fingers before the first had made it halfway to his target. At almost the same instant, Tatsuya released three senbon and turned to dodge Sasuke’s kunai.

In the split-second it took Tatsuya to turn back, Sasuke was behind them. A swift press of fingers to a pressure point later, and Tatsuya dropped to the ground.

Tatsuya glared at Sasuke. “If there’s sand in my hair, you’re dead pretty boy.”

Sasuke scoffed. “Good luck with that. Let’s see how long it takes before you can move again first.”

“Sasuke,” Suzuya-sensei interrupted, “stop antagonizing Tatsuya. Atsushi, talk to me.”

Atsushi repeated what he had told her earlier about his equipment and intentions. Sasuke decided that he wanted to go on offense against his teammate using only his senbon.

It was Sasuke who made the first move, whispering forward with a kunai in hand. Immediately, he went to stab at Atsushi’s thigh, wondering vaguely why Atsushi wasn’t moving to defend-

With a sharp clang, Sasuke’s kunai tore through Atsushi’s pants and glanced off a sheet of steel.

Atsushi’s hands were part of the inspiration for his incredible weapons- after helping his father craft prosthetic fingers (Atsushi had lost a few in a training accident), Atsushi started to replace all his fingers with steel prosthetics (“More reliable in a fight,” he had said, “easier to replace when it breaks.”). Atsushi had replaced three fingers on his left hand and two fingers on his left with steel.

But Sasuke hadn’t known that Atsushi had replaced his leg. There had been little to no time the two boys spent apart due to their intensive training, leaving barely enough time for the surgery alone, not to mention the time he would’ve spent recovering. Did he get Lady Chiyo’s help with the procedure, and had she sped up his recovery somehow?

A harsh snarl ripped from Sasuke’s throat. He hated it when someone on his team injured themselves without telling him. He knew better than most that even D- and C-rank missions could go from 0-100 in in an instant, and he needed to be able to plan around injuries.

Sasuke didn’t get angry very often, much less to the point where he growled, and it startled Atsushi. His finger- flesh-and-blood, not a prosthetic- slipped on the edge of a steel sheet.Atsushi winced, and glanced down to see blood immediately well up where he’d cut his finger.

He only looked down for an instant, but an instant was all Sasuke needed. He threw a senbon into Atsushi’s shoulder, attached to a delicate chakra thread.

Sasuke had lied earlier, when he said he was only training with senbon. He had been working on a new jutsu, similar to one Itachi’s fiancee was fond of, that could remotely drain chakra from an opponent. He would attach a senbon with a chakra thread to his opponent and then drain their chakra. Whether his adversary was using chakra in their attacks was inconsequential. Rapid chakra exhaustion was enough to down pretty much anyone.

Sasuke didn’t feel bad about lying. After all, Atsushi had been lying by omission when he didn’t mention his leg. Call him petty, but he couldn’t find it within himself to regret his actions.

Almost instantly, Atsushi fell to one knee. His breathing became laboured and sweat beaded his brow. Alternatively, Sasuke’s chakra flared as he converted Atsushi’s chakra into his own.

Sasuke pounced before Atsushi could regain his breath. He fisted the other boy’s collar in both hands. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tatsuya move to pull Sasuke off, but Suzuya-sensei stopped them.

“What the hell? When did you replace your leg?”

Atsushi shrugged in Sasuke’s grip, still panting. “Few days ago.”

“Care to explain why I wasn’t informed of this development?” Sasuke seethed.

Atsushi threw Sasuke off with ease. “‘Cause it’s none of your business, that’s why.”

“Boys,” Suzuya-sensei’s voice pulled them away from each other’s necks, “can it.”

Sasuke and Atsushi backed away at the ice in their teacher’s voice. They were silent all the way to lunch- including Suzuya-sensei. Tatsuya chattered away, criticizing everything they could lay their pretty little eyes on as though they were getting paid to do it.

They ate their meal in much the same way, only speaking when they were ordering their food and leaving all the mindless table-talk to Tatsuya.

After a while, Suzuya-sensei wiped her mouth daintily with a napkin and took a deep breath.

“Atsushi Nogami.” She started, eyes boring into Atsushi’s. “It was wrong of you to keep your injury-” Atsushi let out an indignant squawk of protest at ‘injury’- it was a medical procedure observed perfectly by the finest medic in the village- but a glare from their teacher shut him up. “-your injury from the team. If we had been called out on a mission, that information could have meant the difference between life and death for us all. Perhaps you’ve forgotten what happened to Shisui Uchiha last year?”

A routine C-rank escort mission that suddenly turned A-rank had taken Sasuke’s cousin Shisui- one of their best jounin- from them. He died because his team didn’t know about a knee injury he’d sustained while training, and he fell behind into enemy forces.

Sasuke glared at Atsushi. The other boy refused to meet his eyes.

Suzuya-sensei sighed and folded her fingers under her chin. “I understand that you didn’t think it would be of much consequence. But it was still foolish of you to do so. I won’t punish you for this, because I think Sasuke will do that for me,” She glanced at Sasuke, who was close to punching Atsushi in the face, and continued. “But if you pull another stunt like this, there’ll be hell to pay. I expect to be informed next time you replace something.”

Atsushi nodded, his face burning redder than his hair. “I understand, sensei. It won’t happen again.” He muttered.

Suzuya-sensei smiled and stood and flagged down their waitress for the bill. “Good. Get back to training then. We don’t have any time to mess around.”

* * *

 Itachi Uchiha came awake to light fluctuating in the manner that it does when something obstructs it and then moves away. Opening his eyes revealed it to be the light of the sun and the obstruction to be the curtains fluttering in the morning breeze.

Almost instantly, Itachi felt strong arms tighten around his waist and a nose lodge itself in his hair.

“Nope, Too early to get up. Go back to sleep.” A voice murmured from behind Itachi.

Itachi smiled and rolled over, wrapping his arms around his partner’s neck. “I have to, Kisame. I’m meeting my team today, remember?”

“You don’t have to though.” Kisame craned his neck and buried his face between Itachi’s breasts. “You could stay here all day.”

The Uchiha extracted himself from Kisame’s grip, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and standing up. “If I wanted to lose my job, then sure.”

Itachi began the task of tracking down his equipment from where it had been thrown after he returned from patrol last night. His sandals were in one corner, his vest was by the door, his sword was hanging off the foot of the bed, his forehead protector was hanging from the overhead light, and his weapons pouches were nowhere to be found.

Kisame, having no reason to remain in bed when Itachi wasn’t there, followed suit and located his own clothing from around the room, and for all his eidetic memory allowed Itachi didn’t remember how Kisame’s underwear had ended up on the curtain rod.

Kisame was the ambassador from Kirigakure, and while to any other man he may have cut a menacing figure, Itachi just couldn’t see it anymore. No matter how much other people feared Kisame, Itachi found it easy to forget the renown of the Monster of the Hidden Mist once he’d seen said Monster making pancakes in nothing but a flowery pink apron. All six-point-four feet of blue skinned sharkman, from his spiky hair to his toenails, was utterly non-threatening to Itachi despite being a full ten inches and sixty-five pounds smaller.

“Breakfast?” Kisame asked, and pulled on a shirt before realizing it wasn’t his and trying to take it off before he stretched it too much.

Itachi shook his head and pulled back his hair. Not his signature bun, but a low tail instead. “I’ll just throw it up anyway.”

Kisame, still blessedly shirtless- Itachi would be lying if he said the sight didn't get him hot- pressed his chest to Itachi’s back and put his hands over Itachi’s abdomen. “Yeah, she’s already causing trouble, huh?”

Itachi turned his head and pulled Kisame’s head down for a kiss. “Trouble’s a good word for it.” He twisted out of Kisame’s grip and belted on his weapons pouches- they were under the bed, and Itachi didn’t want to know how they got there- strapped his sword to his back.

“Besides, who’s to say they’re a girl?” Itachi asked, pulling a stray kunai from the wall, shrugging, and putting it into his weapons pouch.

“Let me dream, ‘Tachi,” Kisame replied from the kitchen, not about to let Itachi’s condition keep him from food.

Itachi smiled to himself. He poked his head into the kitchen and pressed one last kiss to his fiancee’s jaw before leaving the apartment, pinching Kisame’s ass as he went.

As Itachi walked through Sunagakure, greeting people he recognized and didn’t alike, he let his mind wander.

His and Kisame’s engagement was recent, and rather last-minute. After all, Itachi was the heir to his clan and Kisame represented Kirigakure as a whole, so news that Itachi was pregnant before marriage would be both something close to social suicide, and creating a huge scandal in the clan that could potentially illegitimize him as the clan heir and bring shame to his entire family.

Often, Itachi mourned that he hadn’t had the foresight to not become a shinobi. Most of the Uchiha clan these days chose to remain as civilians, and while this may have been a problem for any other clan there was an exception made for the finest glassworkers in the Great Nations. Any clan that brought in more money by using sand than the shinobi of the village combined was safe to keep to their glassblowing. Itachi was one of the better glassmakers his clan had, but his childhood fascination with shinobi was what led him to his current mission. The jounin instructor of a genin team.

Last night, before Itachi and Kisame fell into bed, the Kazekage’s assistant had come in through the window and told Itachi that Baki had been injured in the field and would never be active duty again, and Itachi was now in charge of Baki’s genin team. Itachi knew that his expertise in the field wasn’t what made him a good choice as a teacher, not for this group. There was one reason and one reason only that he had been assigned this team. He had the strongest Sharingan in the village, and this team had a volatile jinchuuriki that may or may not need controlling.

At the assigned training ground, the three children of the Kazekage Rasa stood waiting.

Temari, the eldest child. She was calculating and powerful, the hardest coherent hitter on the team. Her tessenjutsu was matched by few despite her young age, and this was reflected in the fan she wielded. The measure of any tessenjutsu user was shown by their fan, and Temari’s was more than half her height and easily the same weight or more. Itachi had never spoken directly to the girl before, but from the files her previous teachers had written up Itachi could deduce enough. She was blunt and callous, but had the good sense to know when to draw the line.

Kankurou, the middle child. Out of the many genin in Sunagakure who fancied themselves puppeteers, Kankurou was the most likely to ever actually amount to a master. Itachi had barely been old enough to remember Sasori of the Red Sand, but Kankurou’s mastery of Sasori’s puppets was something close to what Itachi could recall.

And Gaara. The third child. The jinchuuriki. Itachi knew that anger churned just under this child’s skin, knew that in Gaara’s eyes was a fire that burned cold. Sunajutsu was no rare ability in Sunagakure (go figure), but Gaara’s particular affinity for the stuff was something to be admired. As much as the Ichibi poured its chakra into Gaara, sunajutsu still took no small measure or chakra control to use.

“My name is Itachi Uchiha. Baki is no longer available to train you three, so I'll be replacing him as your jounin instructor.”

From the reports Baki left, Itachi knew that none of the children were likely to be attached to Baki at all, and those expectations were met. Temari simply nodded and returned to polishing her fan. Kankurou crossed his arms, but otherwise had no reaction. Gaara looked at Itachi with calm indifference.

“I don't expect you to be perfect. I will not demand your respect, nor will I give you my respect. I will do my best to earn your respect, and I can only hope that you three try to earn mine. All that I ask is that you follow my instructions to the best of your ability.” Itachi said.

* * *

 Itachi soon figured out that the reports left behind by Baki were incorrect.

For the most part, they’re accurate. He got Temari and Kankurou spot on, and pegged Gaara’s personality to the point that after reading the files, Itachi could’ve imitated any one of his charges effortlessly.

At least, they’re accurate on the outside. But Baki, for all his genius at character analysis, never made an effort to get to know the children he was observing. He was wary, too wary of upsetting one of them, and thus only recorded what could be seen at face value.

But Itachi is different. He always tried to get under the skin of his companions (something drilled into him by other genjutsu users- the better you know someone, the easier it will be to take them down if you need to), learn what makes them tick, learn everything about them and more.

Temari is, like in the reports, cold and distant most of the time. But there’s another layer to her, a version with blood running like fire in her veins, and despite her best attempts to solve everything diplomatically, violence is often the only answer.

Kankurou’s brusque nature- noted in Baki’s files as aggression- is something Itachi is familiar with, and he knows that Kankurou’s ability to fight anything and everything stems not from a desire for violence but instead an unfortunate lack of anger management. The puppet-user is like his sister, but he skips the diplomatic part and jumps straight to a violent resolution. He isn’t the most personable of people to begin with, but if you interrupt him while he’s focused, then that’s when you get the anger most people know him for.

But perhaps the worst characterization Baki had ever made was with Gaara. On the surface, Gaara’s profile was perfect. Emotionless, with anger burning on the inside. Suspected to stem from the Ichibi. First reaction to unfamiliar situations is violence. But Baki missed out on the key part of Gaara’s personality. His sass. Itachi has already gone through his rebellious teenager phase and Sasuke is well into his own, but the defining feature of Gaara himself was his overwhelming sarcasm and sass.

And judging by the reactions of Temari and Kankurou, this is a side Gaara didn’t show when under Baki’s tutelage. Temari and Kankurou always heard Gaara’s pure sass and were visibly put off by it.

“So how did Kisame perform last night, sensei?” Gaara asked, not looking over when Itachi opened the door to the communal weapons shed- they had all dulled their kunai and such, and so Itachi saw a trip to the sharpening wheels as ‘in order’.

Temari looked over at her brother sharply. “Gaara!”

Gaara sighed. “Apologies. How did your unnamed and very definitely not Kiri-nin fiancee perform last night, sensei?”

Kankurou smirked and let loose himself. “I’d expect he did well, if those hickeys are anything to go by. Besides,” Kankurou turned to his sister, “it’s not like there are many men in Suna who can leave bite marks like those, Temari.”

“That’s enough, all of you.” Itachi closed his eyes and does his best not to genjutsu the lot of them and go back to his warm, bipedal-sharkman-filled bed. “I have some important news. Lord Rasa has deemed it appropriate for the three of you to participate in the Chuunin exams this year.”

Temari’s eyebrows shot up. “But the Chuunin exams start in two weeks! That’s hardly enough time to prepare.”

“It’s a good thing I’ve been preparing you for this for the past three months now, isn’t it?” Itachi smiled. “But all the same, two weeks can make all the difference. Get to sharpening."


	2. Konoha

Team Itachi departed for Konoha a full twelve hours before Team Suzuya, which was more for security than anything else. On the off chance that Itachi couldn’t handle Gaara if he went off the deep end, Suna was placing responsibility in Sasuke’s hands.

The decision to send both Itachi and Sasuke- the only two Uchiha shinobi still active in Suna- out of the village was a risky one on the council’s part. On one hand, they were offering the best possible protection to the children of the Kazekage and, more importantly, damage control for if Gaara lost control of the Ichibi. On the other hand, the village was sending away one of it’s most powerful shinobi in Itachi and left the village vulnerable to attack. After all, Itachi was hailed as the Master of All Genjutsu and on multiple occasions had laid his illusions on entire camps and on one particularly memorable occasion, a fully operational shinobi village.

In comparison, Sasuke was little more than a candle before a bonfire. His unactivated Sharingan couldn’t do much in the way of handling jinchuuriki, but his genjutsu was better than most. His only other advantage was his chakra-draining senbon and practiced accuracy with which to throw them.

But Sasuke wasn’t given the choice to suggest someone better-suited to the task- like his mother, who had been a fearsome shinobi before the loss of her feet and even now with prosthetics was a faster and had better chakra control than Sasuke ever dared to dream of. He was told by his Kage to go behind his brother as insurance, so behind his brother as insurance he went.

Team Suzuya sped across the sand toward the Kaze/Kawa border, stopping briefly for water after about six hours.

Sasuke caught Suzuya- _sensei_ ’s eye and cocked his head momentarily at Atsushi.

“Atsushi-” Suzuya- _sensei_ got Sasuke’s drift “-how’s that new leg of yours holding up?”

Atsushi flexed his prosthetic experimentally. After a few reps, he frowned and dropped his bag to the ground. He rummaged around in it and pulled out a notebook, a  pencil, and a can of of oil before plopping down. He applied the oil to the connection points at his knee and scribbled something in his notebook

Tatsuya leaned up against their bag.

"This is bullshit." They drawled, unhooking their canteen from their hip and guzzling half of its contents. "Why didn't we start out last week and just walk?"

Sasuke pulled his long hair off of his neck and glared at Tatsuya. "We tried. You said your poisons weren't ready yet."

"Less talking, more water-drinking." Suzuya- _sensei_ interrupted. "We don't have time for petty squabbles, you two."

* * *

 The plan was simple. Go from Suna in Kaze to Tani in Kawa, then from Tani to Konoha in Hi in four days. It was the kind of plan that was really, really hard to mess up. Naturally, Team Suzuya managed to mess it up.

First, Suzuya- _sensei_ got distracted in Tani. Her ridiculous attraction to anything of age with a penis tended to get more out of hand when she was tired, and running for a full day in the heat of a desert with a limited water supply was definitely the kind of thing to exhaust an already-stressed jounin in charge of three constantly fighting genin.

After Tatsuya happened upon Suzuya- _sensei_ getting jiggy with a stranger in an alley and promptly dragging her back to their hotel room, Sasuke awoke from a nap and discovered that one of his scrolls was missing from his bag. The advanced chakra theory scrolls were priceless Uchiha heirlooms that had been in the family of the clan head ever since Madara Uchiha brought the Uchiha to Suna, and Sasuke's father, civilian though he may be, would skin his youngest son if he ever found out that Sasuke had lost them.

Sasuke immediately blamed Tatsuya, who argued that they couldn't have been the culprit since they were busy tracking down Suzuya- _sensei_. Sasuke argued back that Tatsuya had still been in the hotel room when he fell asleep, and it was child's play for Tatsuya to just rummage in his bag and find the scrolls.

"Your accusations are baseless, pretty boy!" Tatsuya raged, throwing their hand in the air and pacing around the room.

"You only pace when you're nervous," Sasuke said, "Are you afraid that I'll find my scrolls under your bed?"

Tatsuya spun on their heel and swept their arms in a sarcastic welcoming gesture. "By all means, search away. It's not like you'll find anything."

"Kidlets," Suzuya- _sensei_ slurred in her sleep-drunk state, "stop arguing and let Mama sleep. We gotta be up tomorrow bright 'n early."

Their teacher's words didn't dissuade either genin.

"Even if I did take your grody old scrolls, why would I take them? What use do I have for advanced chakra theory?" Tatsuya crossed their arms.

"You're just pissed because I beat your boyfriend's ass into the ground!" Sasuke shoved Tatsuya's shoulders. Across the room, Atsushi turned.

Tatsuya's sandy skin flushed a brilliant pink. "Atsushi's not my boyfriend!" They defended.

Sasuke smirked, eyeing Tatsuya and Atsushi's matching blushes. "I never mentioned Atsushi, did I?"

Suzuya- _sensei_ growled deep in her throat, some threat about turning this little trip around had going right back to Suna if the pair of them didn't shut up and go to sleep, Chuunin Exams be damned.

* * *

 After getting checked into the hotel in Konoha, Atsushi’s first objective was to do routine maintenance on his leg.

The general idea when it came to new prosthetics was that it was easily replaceable. That was the point- if it broke, then you could just get a new one with minimal hassle. But it was never a good idea to get a new prosthetic before heading out on a mission, and if you did then you were heavily advised to stop every six hours or less to check it for any malfunctions.

The most common issues with legs, especially with legs that attached at or below the knee, was that the knee joint could easily pop out of place or get jammed. In Suna, prosthetic-makers even included special fabrics at the joints to stop sand or other intrusions from getting into the joint.

Since he'd installed the new leg, Atsushi's knee had been acting up something fierce. With all his other prosthetics, he knew exactly how they reacted in different conditions and could subsequently predict how other prosthetics with similar parts would act. When he installed new limbs on other shinobi, he asked them to take note of the prosthetic’s condition every twelve hours or so, more often if they were on a mission, and to record every instance of a malfunction.

But for all the legs Atsushi had installed, for every metal knee he'd connected, for every ankle he'd had to re-fit, there had never been as many problems as he was observing with his own new limb.

First, the protective fabric between the panels of the leg had been cut open by a branch or something, letting sand and other undesirable things into the limb’s inner workings. Then, the delicate wire he installed to mimic the body's natural chakra system had frayed and broken, leaving the entire appendage useless to stick to anything (like water. Or sand. Or tree branches.) And to make the whole shebang worse, he ran out of oil for the joints in less than three days because every time they stopped to take a break somewhere he'd had to apply the lubricant to all the joints- including the fragile knuckles in his fingers- _and_ he had to pick sand or dirt or pine needles out and away from his masterpiece. All in all, the trip to Konoha hadn't been kind to Atsushi's precisely designed prostheses.

"Something on your mind, cyborg?" Tatsuya asked from their bed, reading the scroll they most definitely didn’t steal from Sasuke and certainly didn’t have FOR UCHIHA EYES ONLY stamped in big letters across the top.

"My leg's actin' up. Nothing major," Atsushi answered.

"Sounds like something major to me. What if it doesn't work during the exam?" Tatsuya continued.

Atsushi mulled the idea over. If his leg didn't work during the Chuunin Exam, then there was no way he would be able to pass. If he couldn't pass, then Sasuke would never shut up- Sasuke would pass the Exam come hell or high water, and if that meant dropping dead weight like Atsushi, then he would do it without a moment’s notice- and then he would hold Atsushi's failure over his head (metaphorically, because Sasuke would never be tall enough to actually hold anything over Atsushi's head) for the rest of time.

"I'll fix it or somethin'. Stop mother hennin’ me." Atsushi scribbled something in his notebook, the panels on his leg open as he picked out sand one grain at a time. "There's just a lotta sand in here. As soon as I get it out, the whole thing will be good as new."

Atsushi just hoped that the sand was the only problem he would have to face. After all, the intricate workings of his leg were the result of a lifetime's experimentation on limbs that never got attached, and he would hate it if he got back to Suna only to have to beg his father for help with the leg.

Tatsuya swung their legs over the side of their bed, dropping the scroll and letting it fold over on itself carelessly.

"Let me help," They said, pumping their legs like they were on a swing and letting their heels click against the wooden frame.

Atsushi jerked back, picking up his disconnected leg and clutching it to his chest. "No," he answered.

Tatsuya made a face, and Atsushi hoped the wind changed direction so it would freeze that way. "You never let me help you with anything," they pouted. "I just wanna let you get back to fighting fit as soon as possible."

"I remember what happened last time you tried to 'help' me with my prosthetics," Atsushi shuddered at the memory. "I  still haven't found all the parts."

The dark-haired genin sighed and flopped back on the bed. "Oh well. I guess I'll just have to hide this scroll in your mattress. It'll be a shame when Sasuke finds out you took it."

"Stay away from me and my bed, you hellion," Atsushi growled.

Tatsuya rolled up the scroll, neat as you please, and stuffed it back into their bag. "Whatever. I'm going to go find Sasuke. He'll at least give me something fun to tease."

Atsushi knew very well where Sasuke was. They were in Konoha, the ancestral home of the Uchiha clan. Both Sasuke and his perfect older brother would be off checking out the old clan compound and taking rubbings of old Uchiha graves or some other creepy thing the Uchiha undoubtedly did. Did the Uchiha cremate their dead when they lived in Konoha? Back in Suna, the Uchiha clan had this weird custom of cremating the dead, mixing the ashes with sand, and making a vase for the surviving family.

Creepy-ass clan shit.

Atsushi tossed his head to the window, feeling petty. "Check the library. Knowing him, he's probably reading up on the rules."

Tatsuya bowed sarcastically. "Thank you, O Wise One. I would never have guessed where my teammate of three years disappeared to."

"Shut up and leave me alone, you witch." Atsushi grumbled, shaking his head and focusing again on his leg. "And don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!"

Tatsuya laughed. "You know you love my ass," they said, striking a pose like Suzuya- _sensei_ did when especially sleep-deprived. "But I'll make sure not to damage it."

Suzuya- _sensei_ muttered from her bed in the corner. "Just kiss already."

Tatsuya spluttered, their face turning a violent shade of pink, while Atsushi felt a bit light-headed with how fast his face heated up. Tatsuya looked at Suzuya- _sensei_ in horror and shouted something along the lines of 'like I'd want to kiss someone with hair that hideous' before diving out of the window to get away.

"Suzuya- _sensei_ ," Atsushi started, "please never say anything like that again."

She laughed and sat up, her hair a wild tangle of curls. “Please.” She scoffed. “Even Sasuke can tell you two are head over heels for each other, and he’s got the emotional range of those fancy glass knives his family’s so fond of displaying."

Atsushi hoped his bangs were hiding his blush well enough, because his face was absolutely burning with the intensity of his flush.

"Sensei," he murmured, "please stop. I'm regretting this trip enough already, don't give me another reason."

She shrugged. "Well, that sucks. Because you're gonna be stuck with me until you pass these damned exams."

* * *

 Naruto Uzumaki was, for the most part, satisfied with his life.

He had finally graduated from the academy (on his fourth try, but hey) and was on a genin team(!!!) with his crush.

Said crush hated his guts and ignored him regularly, but beggars can't be choosers. And not to mention that Sakura is especially pretty when angry.

The same can't be said for the rest of his team though.

His teacher, Kakashi, is late for literally everything and then cites some bullshit reason like 'oh Old Lady Tanaka's cat got stuck on the top of the Hokage monument and I had to get the poor thing down so Old Lady Tanaka could take it to be spayed'. The geezer never payed for Team 7 to go out to lunch, like Naruto knew other jounin _senseis_ did, and when they could convince him to go to lunch with them he always ate faster than lightning could strike and went on his merry way with his nose buried in his porn.

Stupid old man.

And Kakashi- _sensei_ wasn't even the worst part. The other member of Naruto's team was Jiro Uchiha- some ridiculous clan kid who never smiled, never laughed, could never be bothered to give anyone the time of day, and had pride in a stupid clan that was barely a quarter of the size it used to be. Jiro never gave Naruto a second glance, despite the fact that he would be the next Hokage and all too willing to sign stuff now so he could sell it later.

On Naruto's right was Jiro, and on Jiro's right was Sakura, and before them was Konohamaru Sarutobi. The kid was right to idolize Naruto the way he did, right to treat him like the future Hokage he was.

But Konohamaru was busy getting beat up by some genin from Suna, and Naruto wasn't gonna stand for it. The one in the hood was roughing Konohamaru up, and the girl with the fan was just standing back and cleaning dirt out from under her fingernails.

"Think you're so high and mighty now, kid?" Hoodie demanded, shaking Konohamaru within an inch of his life.

"Kankurou!" A shout came from the other end of the street. "Temari, Gaara! What are you doing?"

The origin of the shout was a young man with tear-troughs deep enough to irrigate water through, and black hair and eyes to match. He was dressed like a regular Suna shinobi, and he bore himself like he was important. At his side was what looked like a younger version of himself but with glasses. "You three, back to the inn. I expect better from all of you."

Hoodie and Fan didn't wait around. Another kid- with red hair and no eyebrows- dropped out of a tree and turned to Jiro.

"You," He pointed at the Uchiha, “what's your name?"

Jiro glared. "Jiro Uchiha."

Ginger turned and followed the other Suna genin away.

The two black-haired Suna shinobi bowed. "I apologize for their behaviour," the taller one said. "If you were hurt in any way, my brother is a medic-"

The shorter Suna-nin interrupted the other. "What did you say your name was?"

Jiro stepped back. "Jiro Uchiha." He turned his head away slightly from the other boy's intense gaze.

The boy looked at the taller Suna-nin. "Itachi!" He smiles.

The taller Suna-nin closed his eyes and sighed. "I now apologize for my brother. he gets excited easily. I am Itachi Uchiha, and this is my little brother Sasuke. Again, if you have any injuries, he can heal them."

Sasuke bowed his head, embarrassed. "Sorry, _Nii-san_."

Konohamaru, sturdy as ever, had just brushed himself off and sun away with only a shouted excuse about how they needed to go meet their sensei. "I don't think that will be necessary, but your offer is most kind," Sakura laughed a little.

Jiro stepped forward. "Did you say Uchiha?"

Sasuke nodded. "Sasuke. Second son of the clan head."

Jiro inclined his head in return. "Jiro. Fourth child of the clan head."

"Is the old compound still there?" Sasuke was almost vibrating in excitement.

"Yeah, but we don't really live there anymore. We use it as a training ground though, if you wanna see it?" Jiro jerked his thumb in the direction of the old Uchiha compound, AKA Training Ground 70.

Sasuke turned to his brother as if asking for permission. "Don't look at me, _otoutou_. I'm not your babysitter." Itachi looked to the other genin of Team 7. "However, could any of you show me where I could find Kakashi Hatake?"

Naruto crossed his arms behind his head and huffed. "Why would you be looking for that old geezer? He's probably off reading porn somewhere."

Itachi smiled. "He passed through Suna a while back and I wanted to check up on him. He was good company while he was there."

Sakura gave a long-suffering sigh. "He's probably at the Jounin Standby Station, but if he's not there then I don't know what to tell you. Ask Maito Gai. Big guy in green spandex, you can't miss him."

Sakura pointed towards the aforementioned Jounin Standby Station, and Itachi bowed before walking away.

Naruto and Sakura both turned to Jiro only to find him halfway down the street with he and Sasuke clinging onto each other's every word.

* * *

 "You mean mean most Suna Uchiha aren't shinobi?" Jiro eyed the scrolls Sasuke had out on his bed.

“Yeah, we bring in more revenue through our glassmaking than we would through shinobi-ing. We're the best glaziers in the Great Nations," Sasuke gave a soft smile. "Itachi and I are the only active Uchiha shinobi in Suna right now. We used to have my mother and a few other members of the family, but..." Sasuke's smile faded. "Shinobi problems happened, and now it's just me and Ita."

Jiro flopped back on Sasuke's bed. "I'm the youngest active Uchiha, but the general rule in Konoha is that if you can be a shinobi, then you are one. We kind of rely on numbers here."

Sasuke smiled. "Yeah, in Suna we focus more on quality than quantity. It's no wonder that we only have two genin teams at the Exams this year."

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Jiro started, sitting up, "But is your brother by any chance the famous Illusion Itachi, who once put all of Kumo under a genjutsu as a training exercise?"

"First of all, yes that was my brother, and second, it wasn't Kumo, it was Suna. The Kazekage needed to find a dangerous fugitive hidden somewhere in the city and Itachi's ability was invaluable."

Jiro groaned. "I wish we had someone like that here. The closest thing we've got is Copy-Nin Kakashi, and he's just a layabout perv with a stolen Sharingan."

"How did he get a Sharingan?" Sasuke leaned forward.

Jiro shrugged. "Hell if I know. But I saw him use it once on a mission in Nami and he uses it to copy and predict other shinobi's jutsu. He used it against Zabuza Momochi."

"Ooh, did someone make a friend?" came the catty drawl from the windowsill. "And here I thought you were incapable."

"Shut up, Tatsuya." Sasuke whirled on them and scowled.

Tatsuya threw themself down on their bed. "I just spent a full hour wandering this village trying to find you, and the whole time you're just sitting in here chatting up a stranger?"

"That stranger looks awfully Uchiha to me," Suzuya-sensei said from the door, with Atsushi towering behind her.

Jiro stood and introduced himself to Team Suzuya.

"I think I should go. My team is probably looking for me." Jiro excused himself quickly, heading for the doorway. "See you around, Sasuke."

Sasuke grinned in response. "See you in the Chuunin Exams tomorrow, Jiro."

"Well, at least he's polite," Suzuya-sensei said, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “That’s more than I can say about most Uchiha.”

Sasuke glared at his teacher, but Tatsuya waved him down. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, pretty boy. It’s called a joke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me, you guys! I plan to update every Monday, and I'm feeling optimistic about actually keeping a writing schedule for once. I go back to school this week though, so if next week's chapter is shorter then feel free to blame the good old American school system.  
> As always, don't be shy if there are any mistakes. Please leave kudos and reviews. They really are my lifeblood.


	3. Chapter 3

Once upon a time, someone decided Ibiki Morino needed a genin team. They looked at his record and thought it would be a good idea to entrust him with three members of Konoha’s next generation, leave him alone with twelve-year-olds for ten hours a day and instructions to not let any of them die.

And he did his job. None of them died on his watch. Ibiki was later informed by the master of the “I’m not mad, just disappointed” Chouza Akimichi that giving children the grand tour of T&I headquarters is not an appropriate first test. 

He was never trusted with a genin team again. That made him about as close to happy as he knew how to get. Because not only did he not know how to deal with children, he hated them. Completely, 100%, for sure, definitely-not-just-his-last-dregs-of-teenagerness-talking, hated children. With a passion.

But if there was one thing Ibiki Morino knew how to do, it was psychological torture. He knew how the human- and more importantly, the shinobi- mind worked and how it broke. He knew how to wheedle people into spilling their deepest, darkest secrets, and could crack a person’s mind easier than any Yamanaka. 

He also knew what made it tick, and what incentives forced people to make the choices  _ he _ wanted them to make. So, if one ignored the fact that he hated children more than about anything else, Ibiki made the perfect Chuunin Exams proctor.

No matter how much he hated it, Ibiki got ready for the exams. He prepared his speech carefully for the tenth question. He asked the other tokubetsu jounin what kind of questions they would expect to answer on their jounin exams and then wrote them down for the genin.

On the day of, he got up. He got his coffee. He helped his tiny old neighbor wrangle her thirteen cats back into her house. He met up with Anko for breakfast.

“Don’t be so morose, Ibiki,” Anko laughed over her eggs. “All you have to do is talk at them and psyche them out for an hour. You love messing with people, you’re gonna have fun!”

“You mean I’m gonna be in hell for an hour.” He picked at his bacon. “Children are just loud.”

“Cheer up! You’re gonna break ‘em so hard, I just know it.” Anko leaned across the table and smiled deviously at Ibiki. “Just be sure to leave a team or two for my stage, okay?”

* * *

 

“Atsushi.”

“Yeah?”

“You know I love you.”

“Sure.”

“But what in the  _ ever loving fuck _ .”

Atsushi scowled at Tatsuya. “I don’t get what you’re fussin’ about.”

Tatsuya huffed. “Of course you don’t. This must be normal for you, isn’t it?”

“It’s just one of my prosthetics-”

They groaned. “Just one of your prosthetics? Atsushi, I just watched you pop out one of your  _ eyes _ -”

Atsushi talked over his teammate. “It’s a semi-glass eye that’s still connected to me with a chakra thread-”

“Atsushi Nogami, stop interrupting me!” Tatsuya put one hand on their cocked hip. “I knew that you replaced your eyes, but this is just out of the question. You just took out one of your eyes and casually gave it to Sasuke! What the hell?”

Sasuke looked a bit squeamish, watching the purple-stained eye roll around his hand. “I have to admit, I am a bit freaked out by this.”

“I don’t see what the problem is! Yesterday you were asking to help me with my prosthetics, how is this any different?” Atsushi stepped closer to Tatsuya.

“Yeah, with your leg! Your eye is a different matter entirely!” Tatsuya articulated.

Atsushi threw his hands in the air. “I give up. Just keep that somewhere on you so I can see what you see.”

“Why?” Sasuke was still holding the eye at arm’s distance.

“You’re the one who said we needed to be able to find each other at a moment’s notice!” Atsushi looked helplessly to his teacher. “Suzuya- _ sensei _ , back me up.”

“I’m just here to keep you from getting dead, I’m not supposed to give you ideas.” She shrugged.

In an instant, all three genin rounded on her. “Do you care for us that little,  _ sensei _ ?” Tatsuya whined, their voice dripping acid.

Suzuya- _ sensei _ pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just… Don’t you three have an exam to get to?”

* * *

 

Sasuke knew something was off the moment he stepped onto the third floor. He shifted slightly, clenching one fist and giving Atsushi a look that set both Atsushi and Tatsuya on edge.

_ This feels wrong _ , he expressed wordlessly.  _ This feels like a deception. Like a genjutsu. _

Tatsuya raised an eyebrow.  _ How do you know? _

Sasuke gave them a flat look.  _ Really? _

They looked away, a faint flush dusting their cheeks.

Sasuke wished more than ever that his Sharingan was activated. Itachi knew how to see through any genjutsu with his, and Sasuke felt like that was a skill he could really use.

Sasuke glanced around the hall, looking up at the ‘301’ sign above one of the doors. In theory this would be the room they were supposed to enter for the first stage of the exam, but Sasuke’s senses, already heightened to sense genjutsu through a lifetime of training and then compounded with his defensive state, made him uneasy.

“This is it, this is the genjutsu.” Sasuke didn’t even have to look at his teammates to know that they were in a battle-ready stance. He opened the door onto the room, pulling three senbon from one of his weapons pouches just in case.

The room was full to the brim with genin. Iwa, Kumo, Ame, Taki, Kiri,  _ hitai-ate _ of every village filled the space, many of them older than any of the genin from Konoha or Suna. In one corner, Sasuke spotted Gaara and the rest of Team Itachi, and in another part of the room was Jiro’s team from the day before.

Jiro was actually hard to find- he was just another head of black hair in a sea of black and brown, but his obnoxious blonde teammate and the pink-haired girl who may or may not have actually been a genin were easier to spot than blood on glass.

The pink-haired kunoichi was arguing with a blonde girl from another team over looks, something Sasuke prided himself of but didn't have to give much attention to (Uchiha women were notorious for their beauty, and the men were well known for their often effeminate features. Sasuke was no different).

Jiro, trapped between the quarreling girls, spotted Sasuke at the door and waved him over. The corners of Sasuke's lips curled upwards slightly.

"Sasuke! Over here!" He called, his smile similarly quiet but still just as noticeable. 

Sasuke went to meet his cousin (they likely shared little to no blood, but living in a clan taught you that anyone with your last name was a cousin in some respect), nearly losing his glasses when he tried to push between two particularly large and muscled genin. 

"Jiro, hi," Sasuke greeted. Jiro slipped out from between the two kunoichi, Sasuke having given him an excuse to escape without seeming overly rude.

Jiro wore the normal uniform of a genin, in that there wasn't one. Not a single genin team in all the Great Nations even remotely tried to wear uniforms, but despite this there was always some kind of uniformity in how they dressed as a result of their environment. Konoha genin always wore thin, loose clothes in bright colors, because Hi no Kuni housed equally vibrant flora and fauna. Suna genin favoured long, flowing outer layers with skintight clothing underneath, all of it in tans, white, and the occasional red. Kiri and Ame genin tended to wear pale blues and drab greys, sometimes with wacky patterns. The list went on and on.

Jiro and his team adhered to this rule. Jiro wore navy blue with the Uchiha fan emblazoned on his back, with white shorts and a headband that matched his shirt. The kunoichi wore a childishly short dress in all red. The blonde loudmouth- still griping about something Sasuke couldn't be bothered to pay attention to- sported the most obnoxious thing known to man.

"You know," Sasuke said to the blonde. "That orange jumpsuit of yours is going to get you killed and no-one will be surprised." He turned to Jiro. "I sincerely hope you don't let him go on missions with you when he's in that thing."

Jiro gave a noncommittal grunt. "If he dies, then he dies. It'll be his own fault."

Tatsuya gave a catty grin. "But think about it. If he's travelling in a group with you, you gotta be careful. A jumpsuit that color is easy to spot."

The blonde genin rounded on Tatsuya and Sasuke. "Like the future Hokage would ever let that happen! I'll wear this thing until I drop, you hear?"

Atsushi muttered behind them, towering over everyone his age by a huge margin. "Won't be much longer then, huh?"

He worried at his hitai-ate that covered one eye- or rather, the empty socket that was supposed to be holding the eye in Sasuke's pocket.

Tatsuya snorted derisively. "We've tracked better shinobi than this kid who wore brown in a sandstorm. Someone like him will be easy to take out for some of these lugs." They casually jerked their thumb at the easily twenty-year-old genin polishing katanas and other weapons threateningly behind them. "You'd better hope you're good at henges, hon, or you won't last very long."

"And don't think you're getting out of this, princess." Tatsuya turned to the pink-haired kunoichi and her blonde friend, both of whom looked more like dolls fresh off a shelf than they did like ninja. "I sincerely hope you two are more than just pretty faces."

The blonde girl stepped towards Tatsuya. "Why do you care, huh? You're just some sandy brat."

They recoiled, then threw themself forward towards the girl. 'Yeah, well this sandy brat knows a lot about the human body, and they're not about to let a good chance to practice get away from them."

"Tatsuya," Atsushi spoke, just as one of the other Konoha genin- all of whom had almost instantly gathered to watch the exchange, drawn to conflict like snakes to a patch of sun- groaned "Ino" in a very resigned and almost careless tone.

"Atsushi's right. It's not time to fight yet." Sasuke stepped between the two other genin. This blonde girl- Ino- seemed to just be good at getting into arguments. "I have no doubts that there will be time for fighting later, but we have other concerns now."

Another genin- with silver hair and glasses that dominated his face, spoke up to shush them. "They speak the truth, you're irritating the other participants," he said in a tone that said he really didn't care what happened to them. "They won't be happy with you if you don't shut up."

He stepped towards the twelve genin, his glasses reflecting the light and obscuring his eyes. Instinctively, Sasuke gave the man a once-over. Silver hair, dark grey eyes, purple clothing. High collar and wide belt that could be used to conceal weapons. Weapons pouch and spare bandages on leg. Sixteen to twenty-two years old. Potential threat.

The young man raised his hands placatingly and spoke in a quiet voice. "Don't look at me like that, mister Suna-nin." He smiled at Sasuke and offered his hand to shake. "I don't men you any harm, you don't have to treat me like a threat quite yet. I'm Kabuto Yakushi."

Sasuke still looked at the man warily and clasped his hands behind his back. "Sasuke Uchiha," he offered tentatively.

"That was awfully nice of you to help those genin, miss...?" Yakushi looked to Tatsuya, who immediately sniffed and looked down their nose at him.

"Mix Tatsuya Jun. If you must assign pronouns, then ask first." They crossed their arms hotly.

Yakushi bowed his head slightly. "Mix. I'm sorry to have assumed." He raised his head and smiled down at them again. "Still though, it was kind. Looks alone aren't enough to get you through the Chuunin exams."

Yakushi then looked- and he had to look up, which was the one occasion when Sasuke was glad for his teammate's ridiculous height- at Atsushi, expecting his name.

Atsushi glared down at Yakushi before speaking. "Nogami."Yakushi's eyes got a bit wider. "Nogami, as in the famous Suna prosthetist?"

Atsushi's eyes, in turn, got a little narrower. "What about the old man?"

The silver-haired nin brushed the question off. "No matter. He must be you father, then."

The redheaded genin turned away, looking instead at the room full of more dangerous looking genin. But Sasuke kept his eyes on Yakushi.

"Anyways, back to why I approached." Yakushi shifted his attention to Jiro's team. "I couldn't help but notice how you all seem like first-timers at this here exam, and I wanted to see what I could to to make it easier on you kids."

The blonde on Jiro's team spoke up. "You mean this isn't your first time?"

Yakushi brought a hand ot the back of his head, rubbing it, embarrassed. "This will be my fourth go at it."

He brought his hand back down to his side and asked the other genin around to introduce themselves.

Kiba Inuzuka, twelve, brown hair and eyes, red clan marks. White dog summons. Brash and loud. Low-level threat.

Hinata Hyuuga, twelve, black hair, lavender eyes. Shy, soft-spoken. Not outstanding, but history with the clan suggests mid- to high-level threat. Regardless, very low-level threat.

Shino Aburame, twelve, brown hair, face obscured by sunglasses and jacket. Bug summons. Quiet, but observing. Low-level threat.

Chouji Akimichi, twelve, auburn-brown hair, brown eyes. Heavy-set. Not outstanding, but history with others of the clan suggests low- to mid-level threat.

The rest of the group went on similarly. Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki. Between the nine of them, they could probably make a valiant attempt at taking out Team Suzuya, but individually they just didn't pose any real threat to the Suna genin.

Sasuke had read up on previous Konoha-hosted Chuunin exams, and knew how this one was likely to go. Written test to weed out imbeciles, survival test to get rid of the weak, and then several round on one-on-one fights to test those who remained. Even if any of these Konoha genin managed to read up and study and train enough to beat Tatsuya's poison, Sasuke's hidden glass and fire techniques, and Atsushi's monstrous strength, there was no way they would beat the Kazekage's children. There was no way that any one of them stood a chance against Temari's tessenjutsu, or Kankurou's mastery of the puppet arts, or worst of all, Gaara's sand.

There wasn't a soul in Suna who had ever gone up against Gaara of the Sand and come out of it alive. The only person who was capable of controlling Gaara- and more importantly, Gaara's bijuu- was an Uchiha with a Sharingan, and Itachi was the only active Suna-nin with one that was any good. Even Mikoto Uchiha, the famed Ruby-Eyed Mistress, was downed permanently with an injury to her spine. She was useless in battle. And besides, Itachi's Sharingan was unique even among Uchiha. Shisui's death had done something to him that changed his Sharingan.

Sasuke had been determined to find out what it was. Suna could always use an extra set of special Sharingan with the basket case they were saddled with.

Yakushi sat down on the floor and motioned for the other genin to sit with him. One by one, starting with Uzumaki and finally Team Suzuya as one, they did. Yakushi set a stack of cards down on the ground.

“I’m about to make your lives a whole lot easier.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PUMPED THIS OUT IN ~2 HOURS ARE YOU GUYS PROUD OF ME YET  
> I had little time to write this week, but next week will hopefully present a longer chapter now that I'm finally settling down in my system.  
> Please leave love. Thank.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still the sixteenth, I'm on time.

Some genin from Oto roughed up Yakushi after his little spiel about other genin. Sasuke couldn't say he was surprised, nor was he disappointed. The man gave off an air of nondescriptness, as if he could just back up into a corner and disappear. he gave Sasuke the creeps, and the amount of data he had on shinobi from Suna- especially the info he had on Gaara- was unsettling.

"Alright you baby-faced degenerates, pipe down and listen up!" a commanding voice hushed the room with a single sentence. "It's time to begin." 

When the smoke from the shunshin cleared, one man stood front and center. "I'm Ibiki Morino, your proctor. And from this moment, I'm your worst enemy."

The man was tall, his head covered by a bandanna with the normal  _ hitai-ate _ shield over his forehead. It bore the Konoha leaf.

"First, " Morino pointed at the Oto genin who had beat up Yakushi, "you candidates from Oto, knock it off. Who said you were allowed to fight? Do you want to be failed before we've even begun?"

The Oto genin with the wicked back hair shrugged the proctor's words off. "Sorry, this is our first time at the Exams, I guess we're a bit jumpy-" Though Sasuke couldn't see the Oto-nin's mouth, he was sure the guy was smirking. "-sir."

Morino nodded, though there was no way he believed a word the Oto-nin said. "I'll say this, and I'll say this once. There will be no fighting with the other genin without the express permission of your proctor. And even then, the use of fatal force will be strictly prohibited. Any one of you runts who even thinks of misbehaving will be disqualified immediately. Am I understood?"

A different Oto genin chuckled. 'No fatal force? Where's the fun in that?" Morino didn't seem to hear him.

"Now, each of you needs to hand in their paperwork to one of the monkeys here." He indicated the group of other Konoha nin behind him "In return, you'll each be given a number tile. Find the seat that corresponds with your tile. As soon as we're all settled, the written portion of the exam will begin."

At this, Sasuke noted that Uzumaki looked rather... put out by the idea of a written exam. 

"A written test? Are they trying to kill me?" The blonde genin grumped.

* * *

 

Sasuke ended up placed next to the pink-haired Konoha kunoichi, Haruno. Contrary to how Uzumaki reacted to the news of  a written test, she looked like her birthday had come early. She was looking at her teammate through the rows and snickering, apparently finding enjoyment in his misery. Sasuke wasn't too far from doing the same.

Across the hall, Atsushi tossed a glance in Sasuke's direction.  _ Put the eye where in can see the paper, you numbskull. _

Sasuke reached into his breast pocket and positioned the amethyst iris where it could see through a hole in the pocket.  _ Is this good? _

The corner of Atsushi's mouth tipped up for a fraction of a second. He could see just fine.

At the front of the room, Morino tapped a piece of chalk against the blackboard impatiently. "Listen up kiddos, this test has a few rules. I'm only going to go over these once, so listen well. Rule one, instead of the normal way most of you take tests, this one operates on a point reduction system, meaning you start with a perfect score of ten points. Each problem you answer incorrectly will result in a one-point reduction. Rule two, your combined team score is what dictates whether you pass or fail."

Beside Sasuke, Haruno slammed her head into the desk before raising it to cry out. "What the hell does that mean, we get scored as a team?"

Morino's expression soured even more than it already had when he entered the room. "Shut up. I have my reasons. Just be quiet and listen!"

"Rule number three. The chuunin you see on the edges of the room are there to watch you all for any signs of cheating. For every instance they spot, two points will be deducted from the culprit's score. Make no mistake, their eyes are all sharp. And if you're caught cheating five times, you'll be kicked out before the tests are even scored. If you're dumb enough to let yourself get caught cheating, then you have no right to be here. So show us what exemplary shinobi you can be."

Almost instantly, Sasuke understood the intent of the test. It was all in the wording-;sure, no-one worthy of taking the test was dumb enough to get  _ caught _ cheating, but all that meant was that they had to be good enough to pass under the chuunins’ collective radar. He sent a glance at Atsushi, who nodded back at him, and found Tatsuya- who was smirking like the cat who'd got the cream If they understood the meaning, they didn't show it. If they didn't know, then they weren't showing that either. Good.

At Sasuke's side, Haruno seemed to be talking herself through how to deal with her blonde idiot teammate, but her hopes were instantly shattered by Morino.

"If anyone on your team should get a zero, then the entire team fails.”

Sasuke had nothing to worry about. Atsushi's mother was a vicious woman who only accepted perfect scores, and Sasuke's father didn't accept anything less than a grade that put Sasuke at the top of the class like Itachi had been. Tatsuya's parents didn't care, as they were special ops and weren't in the village much, but Tatsuya held themself to nearly clan-level standards of perfection. 

“Also,” Morino continued, “when you turn over your tests you'll notice that there are only nine questions written. The final question will be given out in forty-five minutes, and you'll have fifteen minutes to answer the final question. At my count, begin!"

The clock on the wall hit 3:30 exactly, and Morino barked out the command to start. The room filled with the sound of a hundred-something genin flipping over their tests to begin. 

The questions themselves were almost child's play to Sasuke. For all that he was behind Itachi in terms of physical and chakra prowess, he had always thrown himself headfirst into his studies. He knew things many jounin didn't, so the questions written on the exam were a cinch to answer.

The questions themselves were almost child's play to Sasuke. For all that he was behind Itachi in terms of physical and chakra prowess, he had always thrown himself headfirst into his studies. He knew things many jounin didn't, so the questions written on the exam were a cinch to answer.

Haruno seemed to be distressed by the test. Sasuke had no doubts that she was competent enough to answer at least one or two of the questions- after all, it took someone special to be put on a team with the heir to a clan and what seemed to be Konoha's jinchuuriki, and seeing as how Uchiha generally had ninjutsu and genjutsu in the bag and the loudmouth Uzumaki was likely the team's resident heavy, Haruno was probably the bookish member of the team. Jiro was probably fine too, if Konoha Uchiha were held to the same standards as Suna Uchiha, and when they had chatted yesterday Jiro had seemed to be at least as smart as Tatsuya.

No, Haruno was busy glaring a hole into the back of Uzumaki's head, probably assessing as Sasuke was that Uzumaki had little to no chance of coming close to passing. 

Sasuke quickly glanced around the room, eyeing the multitude of chuunin with their smirks and wandering eyes and clipboards. In the few seconds Sasuke took to scan them, he noted at least five of them writing down names.

He shifted his gaze to Tatsuya, who was humming and kicking their legs childishly while writing. If Sasuke knew his teammate, then they were probably writing down deliberately wrong answers and inviting the gullible genin beside them copy down their answers.

Sasuke felt Atsushi's glare before he saw it, feeling the unspoken command of  _ get writing and stop lookin' around. _

Sasuke smirked and did so. The he filled out the test and watched out of the corner of his eye as Atsushi adjusted his  _ hitai-ate _ so that his empty eye socket was facing his paper.

Multitasking, Sasuke scoped out the otehr genin. Gaara's eye of sand was floating over some poor girl's shoulder, a girl from Konoha had mirrors attached to threads wound around her fingers and she moved them until the obnoxious Rock Lee (as if Sasuke could've missed his self-introduction earlier) moved his _ hitai-ate _ from his waist to his forehead. Jiro tensed in the shoulders the same way the Uchiha pre-genin did when they activated their Sharingan (they had all lost pets and that had triggered their Sharingan, but Sasuke had never been afforded such things as a child, seeing as how his father was prone to glassblowing everywhere and molten glass mottled the floors. The floors fared better with a few burns than any pet would), giving away his method.

Before Sasuke could make any further observations, the kunai flashed and thudded into a desk. The genin sitting there shot upright. "What the hell was that for?"

One of the chuunin grinned. "Five strikes and you're out, kid. You and your teammates need to get lost."

The genin and his two teammates left the room, but not before the chuunin that had just kicked them out called out their numbers- 23, 27, 43.

Candidates 23, 27, and 43 might have been the first to be disqualified, but by no means were they the last. After the first three, other teams started to fail in droves as one membr of their teams hit five strikes. Before long, thirteen teams were out of the running.

Haruno flinched. Then, she smirked and picked up her paper. Sasuke turned his head minutely to see the Yamanaka girl from earlier slumped over. Sasuke recognized the signs of a Yamanaka mind transfer jutsu. A Konoha classic that all Suna shinobi were trained to avoid, along with the the Byakugan a Hyuuga close to her activated.

Kankurou called to one of the chuunin sentinels to go use the can, and was shackled and tied to a rope before he was allowed to lead the room.

Morino cracked his neck from the front of the room and every eye was suddenly on him. "Alright, listen up! Here's the tenth and final question. But first, there's a few more rules you should be made aware of."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo, time to get into rewatching the Chuunin Exams arc for writing purposes. A lot of the dialogue from this chapter is taken straight out of episode 24.  
> Leave love. Please. I'm just a humble fic farmer who's starting to debate never doing a chaptered fic again (you'll notice that this fic is the first part of a series. The other installments will likely just be very long oneshots because updating schedules are making me remember why I never do chaptered fics).

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> If you find a grammatical error, please don't hesitate to tell me.  
> As always, please leave kudos and a comment. They mean a lot to me and they motivate me to work.


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